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Homework Assignment: Have A Bit Of Fun

Taking joy and laughter seriously

30 Days to a Better Relationship Background Image of couple

According to Dr. John Gottman, sharing humor with your partner is one of the most effective ways to strengthen your relationship. Whether it’s enjoying playful banter or sharing inside jokes, you can fill your time together with a sense of laughter and joy. As Dr. Gottman explains in “The Relationship Cure,” all that playfulness requires is a “willingness to turn toward another’s sense of silliness… and have a little bit of fun!” 

Look for the fun

Be intentional about moments that have the potential for fun. Are Saturday mornings a rare time that you’re both not busy with work and other responsibilities? Surprise your partner with a date or make breakfast together. You may even for a ritual of connection.

Laugh often

Pay attention to what makes your partner laugh. Maybe they love a particular comedian or funny movie. Perhaps there’s a book or storyteller who always makes your partner giggle. The closer you can get to the things that bring your partner joy, the more you can share in the fun together.

Make the choice

In everyday situations, you often have the chance to react to situations in different ways. A tedious moment washing the car can turn into a playful water fight. Awkward tension can be relieved with a witty remark.

Start practicing by applying these principles to your own life, and watch the connection between yourself and your loved ones deepen and thrive!


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The Gottman Institute’s Editorial Team is composed of staff members who contribute to the Institute’s overall message. It is our mission to reach out to individuals, couples, and families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships.

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