i have disagreements but we’re talking about it its meetings are you thing meme that’s such yeah and happening happens more more now john gottman he’s one of my favorite research have you heard the commandment so godman he did these amazing studies and he did these studies over years and years he watched couples and he was able to identify predictors of either failed or terminally happy unhappy relationship he studied couples over a few years period and now get the point where he could look at him for five minutes and he can tell if a few things happen that it’s not going to last so let me tell you what he are i would think that some of these couples had issues because i really don’t like that there’s a dude named gutman over my shoulder constantly watching exactly that was another no but i’m telling you you’re going to hear this and you’re going to actually call the four horsemen of the apollon tell me more ok number one criticism versus complaints so i complain specific situation right like